I am honestly exhausted of the computer and phone screens. I am so exhausted of my dependency on social media to fill a moment of awkwardness. I am exhausted of going through each of my apps then starting over again. I just am trying so hard to get back into the social groove of school and everyone around me is so engrossed into this virtual world then I feel compelled to as well. I miss doing stuff.
The last few weeks have been hard. Moving on isn't easy and because I'm a generally happy person, I put on a pretty happy face in order to both keep everyone around me in high spirits and to try and keep my own mind off of the things that are bothering me. The problem with being the person that helps everyone else is that the people around you assume that you are doing alright. I need people more than they need me and that scares me.
I'm feeling these moments of complete happiness, bliss, silliness intermixed with moments of overwhelming sadness, insecurity, and a heavy weight on my chest. I don't really know what triggers what, but I'm searching and searching to figure it out.
