2014 was hard. 2014 was a time of misery and mishap and magic and clarity. It was a year of devastating heartbreak and an overwhelming sense of renewal.
It was the year I decided I wanted it all and i would be damned if I didn't get it.
It was the year I became my passion.
Heartbreak is an interesting notion. Letting something go for your own good is way harder than I could have ever imagined. Cutting ties is nearly impossible. But, like most things, I was cured by time, by bad movies, drunken nights with my friends, cheesy novels, and mostly, I was cured by me.
In 2014 I became obsessed with me. Overwhelmingly so.
I dived into the world of Beachbody and then squat jumped right on out of it. (great workouts, total rip off, read about that here) I started a wellness blog and began my lifelong pilgrimage to love my body.
I fully accepted that I love pop music and can equally jam to Taylor Swift and The Replacements circa 1989.
I fell deeply and happily in love and learned that a good, strong love doesn't have to be messy and terrible and heart-wrenching; it can be sweet and lovely and sunlight.
I found myself working with kindergarteners and at the school paper in journalism and became obsessed with both. Two years into college and I still want to do both forever. I'm definitely not ready to choose.
I had the most beautiful summer at home and became utterly enchanted by North Idaho again.
I brought a puppy into my home when everyone told me not to, when I told me not to. It was my best choice all year.
There is this notion that people my age are selfish. That we can't find love or happiness because we want more that we aren't content and that we complain and don't do. I call bullshit. Be selfish. Be selfless. You can do both in a positive way. 18-25 is the time to take and claw and become someone you will be for the rest of your life. Being selfish isn't the same as being a selfish asshole. As Steve Jobs once said, "Stay hungry, stay foolish"
2014 was a year that I will look back and just shake my head with a smile and tell my kids, "man, that was rough but boy was it magical."
2014 was a year that I spent going 100 mph and had no idea where I was going. I have no longterm goals. I have right-now goals. For the first time in my life the only think I'm looking forward to, is tomorrow.
So 2015, come what may.
