10 years of Taylor Swift; 10 years of me

I did a post earlier this year about how a person should never feel ashamed of liking what they like. (you can read that here, if you would like.)

This hasn't changed, but this post is meant to explain why you should never make a person feel ashamed or go out of your way to slam someone just because you don't like them. Here is my story.

My dad and I used to listen to a lot of country music, it was kind of our thing. We could name any artist of any song at  the time. (This was before Luke Bryan and Kip Moore and FGL., so way back.)

I remember when we heard Tim McGraw for the first time, I was in 5th grade and dad picked me up from school. (He did that a lot because of bus bullies) Dad had it turned up really loud and he told me, "this girl is only SIXTEEN. Can you believe that? Her name is Taylor Swift." I nodded and sang along because it was a sweet song, but an even sweeter moment.

Not long after this I came home to a cd with a girl with crazy hair on it. Dad had bought Taylor Swift's first album because that moment in the car meant a lot to him too and he wanted more.

Flash forward to 8th grade. Eighth grade was terrible. No longer did I have the safety net of childhood friends and I was plagued with hormones and crushes. Crushes that never seemed to reciprocate. I was awkward and outspoken and those two things aren't cool in junior high. I did have Taryn, though and Taryn and I had Taylor Swift.

We would blast You Belong With me about the crushes who "dated" the wrong girls, we would cry to White Horse and the fact that maybe after all we wouldn't be princesses and we became overwhelmed with hope for our future screaming along to Fearless and Change.

That was the year we went to our first concert alone. That was the year that Taylor Swift greeted us by name backstage. That was the year we were made felt like we mattered to someone's accomplishments.

Speak Now came out when I was 16. I was  finally comfortable in my skin. I felt the magic in the world and I had friends that had become sisters. I fell in love with a "band of thieves in ripped up jeans that got to rule the world" when the San Francisco Giants won the 2010 World Series and sparks flew every time I saw him smile. I would scream each one of those 14 songs every time I got in my new car with my new license.

Suddenly everything changed. I lived by myself in a city where I knew no one but somehow fell in love anyway. It was truly miserable and magical at the same time. I had my heart shattered and torn and shipped away and I would lie on the floor listening to the echoes of my pain in All Too Well and Sad, Beautiful Tragic. I would cry in the shower trying to sing Red. Then suddenly I was okay and it all begun again with a blue eyed boy in the back yard of a corner house and I saw the starlight.

It's hard to say what an moment means to you until you are looking back at it. I can't tell you what 1989 has done for me because it's not done doing it yet. Yeah, I know every word and every chord but still every time I listen through, I feel like I'm hearing it for the first time. Like I'm experiencing something new and wonderful and fantastic every single time. It's still telling my I'm healing, it's still telling me to try new things and it's still telling my to stop taking everything so damn personally.

They say you remember the song that's playing in truly important moments. For me, the majority of these moments are instrumented by songs written and sung by a girl who went through similar things. A girl who was brave enough to share them to the world, despite how critical it is back to her, a girl who was courageous enough to grow and evolve and risk losing it all.

I don't respond to Swift critics often but here is what I have to say: If you think that Taylor writes only about love listen to Tied Together With a Smile, if you think Taylor is selfish, check out Swiftmas and the SU2C song Ronan, if you think Taylor is greedy, read the Apple letter.

You don't have to like people, you don't even have to have a reason. However, you do owe people who are trying, who are working hard, who are giving everything they have the respect they deserve.

Music saves people's lives. The idea that someone understands, saves. people's. lives.

 Taylor Swift called 1989 a rebirth. I call it growing up. I call it impressive as hell. I call it fearless.

Be brave, be wild, be you

2014 was hard. 2014 was a time of misery and mishap and magic and clarity. It was a year of devastating heartbreak and an overwhelming sense of renewal.

It was the year I decided I wanted it all and i would be damned if I didn't get it.

It was the year I became my passion.

Heartbreak is an interesting notion. Letting something go for your own good is way harder than I could have ever imagined. Cutting ties is nearly impossible. But, like most things, I was cured by time, by bad movies, drunken nights with my friends, cheesy novels, and mostly, I was cured by me.

In 2014 I became obsessed with me. Overwhelmingly so.

I dived into the world of Beachbody and then squat jumped right on out of it. (great workouts, total rip off, read about that here) I started a wellness blog and began  my lifelong pilgrimage to love my body.

I fully accepted that I love pop music and can equally jam to Taylor Swift and The Replacements circa 1989.

I fell deeply and happily in love and learned that a good, strong love doesn't have to be messy and terrible and heart-wrenching; it can be sweet and lovely and sunlight.

I found myself working with kindergarteners and at the school paper in journalism and became obsessed with both. Two years into college and I still want to do both forever. I'm definitely not ready to choose.

I had the most beautiful summer at home and became utterly enchanted by North Idaho again.

I brought a puppy into my home when everyone told me not to, when I told me not to. It was my best choice all year.

There is this notion that people my age are selfish. That we can't find love or happiness because we want more that we aren't content and that we complain and don't do. I call bullshit. Be selfish. Be selfless. You can do both in a positive way. 18-25 is the time to take and claw and become someone you will be for the rest of your life. Being selfish isn't the same as being a selfish asshole. As Steve Jobs once said, "Stay hungry, stay foolish" 

2014 was a year that I will look back and just shake my head with a smile and tell my kids, "man, that was rough but boy was it magical."

2014 was a year that I spent going 100 mph and had no idea where I was going. I have no longterm goals. I have right-now goals. For the first time in my life the only think I'm looking forward to, is tomorrow.

So 2015, come what may.