Seclusion and being 85

Since I got home from college I have definitely changed my lifestyle. For one, I have an unrealistic amount of time on my hands. Usually my June is filled with camp and trips and Hoopfest and this year I took a step back from most of that. Another thing is that I stay home quite a bit and have stayed pretty close to home.

Basically my life consists of waking up, working out, working for dad, and then sleep. I genuinely enjoy that. Coming back from such a high energy eight months and being around people who are all in basically the same position as me is really hard. The hardest part being that I made the most incredible connections and friendships that were the most meaningful of my life and I had to leave that.

I have never felt as comfortable and like I fit in as much as I do in Chico. Judgements are all fresh and nobody cares about what your last name is or what your gpa was in high school. I fell in love with  responsibility and freedom and though I struggled I found a home.

Idaho will always be home base; especially in the summer. There is nothing that I love more that the green and the water and my friends from different schools finally on the same page as me and the blueberries of course!

Things aren't as I expected, though. I came back and I truly realized that North Idaho is my temporary home. I don't feel like I can be fully me, like I can spread my wings and I feel like I'm in a totally different world than most the people. That's not California talking; that's 16 years of insecurities finally finding words.

I'm very excited for this summer and spending time with the people who will never waver from my heart. I am, however also so excited to return to college and continue my journey and enjoy being young. Nothing changes in North Idaho but it has a way of speeding up adulthood, and this is the time of my life where I completely am focused on me. My mental health, my appearance (hey, check out my new fitness blog), and who I want to be.

Here's to summertime and here's to not worrying about classes and grades and whether or not two hours of sleep over three days is going to get me  to the weekend.

Now because I'm 85 I'm going to eat dinner and probably go to bed by 9.