I'm Lost and I'm Starving

Lately I have become obsessed with getting a dog; like truly obsessed. Earlier yesterday I came across a 4 year old lab...who was born blind. As I read and read about Moose the lovable, odds defeating, loving dog, my heart ached. I wanted to give him that forever home, I wanted to be the one that gave him all the hope, all the love, all the opportunity in his life. This was how I was raised; to care for things, to take care of things.

A few years ago, I had a horse. His name was Jet and he was truly my guardian angel. I got him in 5th grade, a time when I had never in my life felt so alone. I was uncomfortable in my own skin, in my atmosphere, within my peers. Jet was a stubborn old race horse that wouldn't let me gallop on him for three years. It wasn't until I put a little girl who had been riding her whole life on him and warned her he wouldn't run for her and he started to run within seconds, that I realized he had been protecting me. He always protected me; a safe haven. As I stop

I don't know if it is that atmosphere is what drives me; but boy does it. I starve to provide hope for someone, for something. I know that I have a purpose; I have people who love me. What I thirst for is beyond that.

I can't put a finger on my specific passion. I think I'm trying to hard to figure it out. All I know is I'm in love with the power humans have for compassion. The capacity to save and to help and to overcome. I wan't so badly to be apart of that. For people to see me and feel inspired to do the things I have accomplished. I want a sense of pride when I see something I changed with my heart and soul.

All of this appears in so many different forms; from teaching to activism to volunteering. From animals to homelessness awareness.

I want to provide what Jet provided me. A home. I know now is not the right time to be that home for a dog. However, if something were to happen, I could be the best home. I believe this because I was raised by two of the most compassionate, caring people and I was taught by them to rise to the occasion and love with all my being.

I don't know what my future holds profession wise. Even if I did tell you, I can probably guess I will change my mind. All I know is I care, and shit do I care a lot. I will fight to the end for what I care about.

I'm that girl. 

“Any time you talk to anyone about something that they love, they’re, like, their most beautiful. It’s a cool gift to get to talk to people about what they love.”

—  Amy Poehler (x)